Not Always Right

One of my favorite blogs to read back in the day was http://notalwaysright.com/. It is a very funny website with customer service stories. Since I work customer service and retail, I'm debating on whether or not I should add my own.

Customer service, especially over the holiday season is insane. Not only do you have long insane hours, but you have insane customers. I am thankful tomorrow I will be going to a call center and I no longer have to work face to face retail.

Anyway here is a sample of a story from Not Always Right:

A Cent-less Discount

CALL CENTER | WINDSOR, ON, CANADA | BAD BEHAVIOR, MONEY

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [My Name], and how is it I can assist you this evening?”

Customer: “MY SERVICE HAS BEEN OUT FOR AN HOUR AND HALF! FIX IT NOW!”

Me: “All right, sir. I can definitely assist you with that.”

(I go through basic troubleshooting and resolve the issue.)

Me: “All right, sir. Is there anything else I can do for you this evening?”

Customer: “YEAH! HOW DO YOU PLAN TO COMPENSATE ME FOR THIS?!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “How do you plan to compensate me for this? I wasn’t able to use my service for an hour and a half. I had to just sit here with nothing to do, and then I’ve been on the phone with you for an hour and a half, and I want compensation!”

Me: “Okay, so you were out for an hour and a half and spent 15 minutes on the phone with me, and you want compensation. Is that correct?”

Customer: “Yes, and how much is that going to be?”

Me: “I’m not sure, sir, let me check your bill and I’ll find out.”

(Since throughout the entire call the customer had been rude and screaming at me I decide I am going to go completely by the book and not just give him a 5 dollar credit, like I normally would. After checking his bill and calculating it down perfectly to the hour and 45 minutes I come back to the phone and inform him:)

Me: “All right, sir, so after calculating how much it cost you for the hour and 45 minutes you were out of service, it comes to a grand total of 37 cents. Would you like me to apply this to your bill?”

Customer: “Oh, h***, no! I want more than that. I want your supervisor!”

Me: “Well, unfortunately my supervisor is not available at this time of night, and it cost you 37 cents for that hour and a half and how long you’ve been speaking to me. Now, is there anything else I can assist you with?”

Customer: “No!” *click*

(I did apply the 37 cents credit just to rub it in his face for being such an unpleasant person.)

LOL Say What

One of my favorite websites in 2012 was LOL Say What. The best part is the tard stories. Here is the link http://lolsaywhat.com/section.php?pp=0&pt=263&s=2 Yes, a lot of them do appear to be copy and pasted Here is one of my favorite posts:

>tard gets what he thinks is the single greatest idea of all time and informs all of us>we all leave to watch it go down>tard goes over to empty parking lot>we follow and hide in the bushes>tard pulls down his pants and squats over the pavement>lays out the biggest motherfucking shit in the history of tard anuses>2 foot long XXL tard turd>tard picks up the turd with his bare hands and walks over to a house two or three doors down from the parking lot>walks up to the front door holding a completely intact 2 foot long turd horizontally and out in front of him with both hands>somehow either rings the doorbell or knocks on the door (don't remember which) without letting go of the giant fucking turd in his hands>woman answers the door to see a retard presenting her with a two foot turd like some sort of Aztec making the world's foulest smelling sacrifice to his pagan shit gods>woman is frozen like a deer in the headlights while her brain futilely attempts to comprehend the horror in front of her>while she's still in shock, with the turd still held proudly out in front of him, the tard let out a battle cry at the top of his lungs that will haunt all who hear it until their dying day...>"POOP SCOOP MALOOP!">woman screams like a topless teenager in a slasher movie and slams the door
We all ran off laughing so hard that some of us literally fell on the ground laughing. Never found out what happened to the woman or the turd or if the cops ever got involved, but the tard was back at school the next day and still as retarded as ever.

There is plenty more little jems like that on the website.

Tard Blog Mirror

I have the Tard Blog stories from Riti Sped, Sarah Hammon, and Kristy Pell done. I may fix the layout a little bit. I really don't know how I want it to look yet. Here is the link as it is now: http://tardblogmirror.blogspot.com/

I know, the blog may be offensive, but it is hilarious. I just see it as a Special Ed teacher just venting about her job. It got taken down in 2004, because a bunch of people got offended. I believe people are just too damn sensitive.

The stories gave me hours of laughs back in the day. I remember working at a call center reading these stories laughing between calls. Over the next several days I'll posts links of the hilarious funny shit I've read and I'll mirror what I need too. Who knows, I may throw in a few funny stories I have.

Call me nostalgic, but I don't see as many funny blogs around nowadays as there used to be.



Image from the original Tard Blog site.

First Entry

Hello, world. My name is Hollie and what I love to do is search the Internet. Now, the websites I love are the ones I remember from back in the day. My absolute favorite, back in 2005 was Slow Children at Play by Stokie Jaye. I just finished making a mirror of it. Here is the link: http://slowchildren-atplay.blogspot.com/

Right now, I'm working on making a mirror of all the Tard Blog stories. It needed to be done. Yes, there are mirrors online, however, they leave out Sarah Hammon and Kristy Pell. Yes, Kristy Pell's humor can be down right disgusting, however, it is so hilarious. I remember reading these stories back in the day during a slow day at work. It kept me entertained for many hours, and I hope it entertains you also.

I'm not sure what other mirrors I will make next. If the site is still up, I'll just add a link. I will probably be doing this until it is warm outside again.